Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sims torture


I used to be addicted to the Sims. When my kids first got it a few years ago, I never let them play. I probably would not have gotten so addicted except Matt taught me how to bypass the $$$ thing and I could have as much as I wanted.

Normally you would have to get a job and make money, but I soon found out it was a pain to give them a job. My Characters always missed work.
At first I made my family, everyone was attractive ( as attractive as you could make them). I took care of them, made sure they cleaned and went to the bathroom. They were showered and had good social lives.
Much like my Barbie's of youth, this got boring. I started to create really ugly people, I let them pee their pants. The first time my Sims guy peed his pants and cried to me, I practically peed my own pants, I was laughing so hard.


" Matt, Jennie" I screamed, " this is so funny, come see what I did, my Sims guy is crying and yelling at me". Nobody comes. " You guys hurry up this is so funny".
Matt: " what did you do to him ?"
Me: " I made him pee his pants, and he cried".
Jennie: " That's really sick". Me: " no it's not, I just wanted to see what happens if you don't let them pee".
Jennie: oh, I feel bad your guys depressed, look at his depression level, he needs friends".
" he needs exercise, he needs a job".

Ok fine I will let him work out in the new exercise equipment I just bought.

I click on the thing that makes him work out and he shakes his head no to me and says " uh uh".

The kids have left the room now, " Jennie Matt, get in here, my guy is refusing to work out", " he can't do that, I am in control!"

Jennie sighs, " Mom he's too depressed, look at his levels he needs sleep too". Fine he c
an sleep for a sec. I soon find out it is really fun to keep waking them up before they are ready. They get really mad and yell at you, they stomp their feet and scream " bin lau". They look right at you too. ha ha ha.

Jennie: " you are so sick" " and why aren't the Jennie and Matt kids at school?"

Me, " oh, they missed the bus again" " you know it's really hard to get them to that bus"
Matt: "They're fighting".

Me: " big deal kids fight" I say defensively. Truthfully, I purposely made all their personality's complete opposite so they w
ould fight. I thought it was funny.

Jennie" we're all really ugly too, what's up with that? why does Jennie have such a big nose? Is my nose big?"

Jennie:" Mom, I am really worried about you, the house is disgusting, everyone is crying".

Me: " well if your so upset about the house, pitch in, I am relaxing with my game".

Matt: " Not OUR house! Your Sims house, and it's OUR gam
e".


Well, I decided they were just ruining the whole Sims experience for me so they were banished to their rooms.

I thought for sure Expunge ( ex husband who I live with) would get how much fun this was. Every so often I would run into the bedroom where he was watching TV " OMG, I let Dan start on fire, he's dead" I say laughing. " huh, Dan who?" he would say paying half attention to me. " Dan, YOU " I would reply, " My virtual Sims Dan", " I let him die, in a fire" I would say smugly. " That's pretty sick" he would say paying attention now.



What is wrong with my family? Don't they know what's funny?

Eventually I tired of making my Sims fight, die and pee their pants.


Now when the kids are home from school I yell " Jennie, Matt, get in here and see the really funny picture on my blog!"


They say together " your really sick mom".