I was the loser in the express line! I had my ten items or less and the total was $5.99. I use my credit/ debt card because as usual I have no cash. I am proud of my skills when using this machine. I can swipe fast and press my credit or debt choice in a flash. So I pick credit.
Cashier: I am sorry mam, your card has been denied.
I don't panic I checked the balance. I have $52.21 in my account
Me: Well it must be your machine, I have $100,000.00 in my account I will just try doing debt.
The cashier does not look like she believes I have $100,000.00 in my account. It could be because she can tell I have not cut my hair in two years, I am wearing my favorite K Mart sweats and my white Nikes are now black with a small hole forming by the little toe.
I know for a fact the lady behind me with the whiny kid does not believe me because she says " yeah right!"
I want to turn around and say " hey, you want to take this outside, just because I look this way does not mean I'm not rolling in it. By the way give your kid the frikin candy, because nobody wants to hear her whining anymore."
What I say is this " I am so sorry," Then I give a little apology smile that was met with a glare.
So I swipe again faster than a gun draw in a western. Yep, I have this mastered. I click debit and then it asks for my secret password. Sh#t, what is it? 1234, or is it 4321, or is it 2468? Damn, the cashier, the lady behind me, her brat, and the stupid machine have made me nervous. Now I am having a mental block. I apologize to the lady again and see that the line has gotten really long.
I think, " nobody panic, everyone needs to just calm down here! I know what your all thinking, your thinking you picked a bad line again! yeah well, been there done that! Didn't anyone teach you patience is a virtue!"
"Ok Laura think, panic will just make it worse" I should just explain to them that a symptom of Peri menopause is forgetfulness. I have a 20 year old son. I am old, it is not my fault. In a couple of weeks, after I have seen the gyno, I will get a miracle drug or cream and I won't ever forget my password again. They will all understand. The cashier will announce over the loud speaker what has occurred and customers will pat me on the back and tell me to take my time.
Thankfully I do not have to resort to that, " I remember! Omg, I know it! I scream".
Cashier woman rolls her eyes and the lady behind me say's " Thank God".
Now it is my turn to glare at her. The least she could do is show some excitement. I put in my secret password and hold my breath. It goes through.
I am smug. I make sure to give the lady behind me and her brat a smug look.
" See, what did I tell you? It was all the machine". " That will teach you to not judge a book by it's cover".
" Maybe you will learn some patience and teach your little brat too."
Two weeks later I am in the express line. I have cash. Some guy forgets his password. I think " I don't have time for this crap! Write it on your hand if your that forgetful! Why oh why do I always pick the bad lines, grrr this never fails!" " And look at him, he looks like he does not have two dimes to rub together, I bet if I sigh really loud he will just give up".
I am immediately ashamed, I am a hypocrite. I vow to love every screw up in line. Even if they under count and really have 15 items, even if they need a dreaded price check. I will love them all.
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